Liberation

There are some days in our lives that we simply will never forget. These are the days that leave us with a profound feeling of devastation, and conversely, the days that bring us immense joy and satisfaction. I have lived long enough to have experienced both of these extremes, and even a variety of emotions in between. Throughout this journey, I found myself never fully stopping to heal from the multitude of scars left behind from those devastating days and the events connected to them. Instead, I was inadvertently learning to shove those painful memories deep within myself, to a place where I could not even identify. Nor was I taking the time to turn inward and ask myself those deeper, more meaningful questions. The bottom line was that I had no real self-awareness, which ultimately led me to lack any form of accountability for my actions. This unfortunate circumstance has caused me to repeatedly engage in cycles of toxic relationships and friendships that were far from healthy. Eventually, I began to critically examine my patterns; I moved beyond merely how I felt and began to see things for how they truly were. Once I completed the necessary inner work, I turned my focus toward discovering the valuable lessons hidden within my experiences. My job now is to strive to be a better version of myself, not for anyone else but solely for ME. I began to recognize my triggers and would often go within to ask myself, “why?” This self-inquiry is what ultimately led me to embark on this NEXT chapter of my journey. I will be the first to admit; it’s definitely been one hell of a journey thus far, filled with both highs and lows! The good, the bad, and even the ugly aspects of my life have all contributed to shaping me into the woman I am today. I fully own that! My inner judge sits high, and we’ve already had that essential conversation about my growth. I don’t aspire to be just a “boss chick”; my deeper desire is to become a woman who stands firmly with ten toes down in her true POWER! I am learning to stomp on my fears and to TRUST God—NOT a man or woman—to guide and illuminate my path. With this new understanding, I am also realizing that not everybody can accompany me where God is leading me on this transformative journey.